In the trash (Ella)

Ella: Guess where my toys are?!?!?
Me: Where??
Ella: In the trash!!
Me: Why??
Ella: Mommy threw them in there, she threw them away!!
Me: How come she threw them away??
Ella:I was mean to my daddy!!

Mormons (Mom)

My Mom: I have to call you back the damn f***ing Mormons are here and they already know I'm home!!